Monday, June 16, 2014

Well, hello there

4:28 sunrise
23:34 sunset

You know how it is when you leave something for so long it starts to seem silly to bother doing it at all? That's this blog and, to a lesser degree, my Fit for 40 goals.

Things are fine.  Many things are even good.  But I frequently feel uninspired.  I feel like I have good ideas or interesting thoughts running around in my head but it is a challenge for me to bring them into reality. Or sometimes the reality turns out to be less interesting than the abstract concept was in my head.  This is the case with the photo project I chose for last year.

I decided to do a 365 project but one with no requirements for actually taking a selfie everyday if I didn't feel like it.  It turned out to be a 312 project.  I wanted to do it starting on my 40th birthday for a year because I wanted to see - and keep seeing - what a 40 year old woman looks like.  Official middle age is a funny thing. Like so many people who have crossed into their 40s before me, I don't feel old.  And of course 40 isn't old, I know that.  But it is the end of youth.  Does this matter?  Of course not.  At least, not in the grand scheme of living a good and examined life.  And I certainly don't think that being older is worse than being younger. But it is different, in some ways, and I am aware that I have started to see time differently and I fear the ever increasing speed with which it passes.  I no longer feel that life stretches out indefinitely.  I sense that there is an end to the road and, while (hopefully) that end is still some distance off, if there are things I want to do, I'd best get to it.

So with all of these sorts of thoughts rolling around in my head, I decided to document what 40 really looks like.  For this reason, I took the photos in the same room each day, with the exception of a few shots when I was away from home.  I also did not allow myself to perform any post-processing on the images to improve my skin or general appearance.  Full disclosure: I sometimes adjusted the brightness of the images that were taken in the winter months because I felt they were too dark but I never made an effort to make myself look better by brushing out a zit or toning down the blue shade under my eyes.  In doing this I had two goals: to try and see what I really look like most of the time and to get more comfortable with some of the aspects of my physical appearance that I'm not crazy about.

Me, me and - oh wait, it's me

The funny thing is...... neither of these things happened.  I don't feel like anything has changed.  I do feel like the resulting 312 images are a pretty good record of what was going on with my hair over the last year and I like how all of the images, when looked at collectively, show the passage of time in a minute way.  So I like the result well-enough, it just didn't achieve what I thought it might.  But, in the effort of reporting back on my whole Fit for 40 thing, here's what my year of being 40 looked like.

Friday, December 20, 2013

The yoga diaries - all 30 days

So, for 6 weeks, I did yoga 5 days/week.  I missed the first three classes, but attended every Monday to Friday after that.  Here are my one sentence summaries of each of those days.  For me, the jury is still out.  I feel better but I am not in love with the whole process.  I feel stronger and more flexible in places I wasn't expecting but my hips/glutes are still pretty tight.  I will continue, but not at this level of frequency.

~~    That wasn't too bad - Hips so sore! - Longer poses are different hard - Balance poses are easier for
me - Everything felt awful and stiff - I'm not feeling fully comfortable or relaxed in shavasana - Getting up was hard this morning, but I enjoyed today's practice - I felt stronger and more flexible today - Outer
thigh, hips, shoulders are again so sore - I was able to touch my heels in camel pose! - I feel bendier in
the evenings -Why are the warrior poses so hard on my thighs? - Kinda meh - Headstand attempts - Feathered Peacock - Although I am tired, today's class felt good - Heron pose/happy baby/side angle...these are all hard and uncomfortable and somewhat confusing to me in terms of form, intended stretches, etc. - Hurt my neck -ouch! - Limited movement - I feel like shavasana was successful -
More together today - I like doing poses that involve moving and standing on one leg - I felt strong in chaturanga - A lunar shit show - The last 4 days have been pretty good - There have been improvements
in half-monkey (half splits) pose! - Headache today but all moves stronger.    ~~

Friday, December 13, 2013

The yoga update

10:02 sunrise
15:47 sunset

Okay, one week or five measly classes of yoga until I am free to sleep in past 7am on work days.  I decided to stop posting my yoga thoughts on the daily and instead am saving them up for one big yoga-haiku when it's all over.

In other riveting news, it has been cold (on and off) and we got a shit ton (that's a measurable amount you know) of snow over the last couple of days: 36cm!  I'm again on the planning committee for the 5+ Hours of Light Fat Bike Festival and basically I am just looking forward to having a few days off as 2013 draws to a close.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

The yoga diaries - day 15

Feathered Peacock today.


Apparently it is also called a forearm balance, a handstand or Pincha Mayurasana.  I called it hard.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

No Dressember in 2013

9:44 sunrise
15:56 sunset

So there will be no Dressember this year; at least, not for me.  I just can't get excited about it for a 4th year. Last year people we so generous with their donations to Right to Play on my behalf and I just don't feel the same desire to wear a dress every day for a month.  Between choir (still so much fun!), yoga, spinning, and just surviving winter, I can't be bothered this year.  Call it a case of the blahs, I'm just not playing along in 2013.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Thursday, November 14, 2013

The yoga diaries - day 1

That wasn't too bad.

A little backgrounder:  I signed up for a 40 day yoga intensive.  Really, it's 30 days over 6 weeks (6 weeks = 40 days).   It started today.  Actually, it started on Monday but I was in San Francisco so I missed the first three classes.  It starts at 7am which, if you know me you would know, is a major threat to success.  I hate mornings.  I haven't done a lot of yoga in my life but I have, for the better part of a year, been feeling ridiculously stiff/sore and basically very un-bendy.  It feels old.  It doesn't feel fit or healthy. And I figure I could use a little stretch therapy.  Fit for 40 has a yoga intensive on the list so... I bit the bullet by signing up.

I'm going to write, every day, one word or sentence about how I feel about the yoga or how class went. Today: it wasn't too bad.